Q. What is this FAQ about?
A. Jon and Robin eloped and got married May 1, 2001 in a hot air balloon above Las Vegas. (Above, you can see the balloon being inflated.)
Q. Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend and/or relative!
A. We didn't tell anyone. There were no guests at our wedding. The wedding party consisted of Robin, Jon, the minister, and the pilot.
Q. So was this a spur-of-the-moment decision?
A. Nope. We'd been talking about eloping for months and just decided now was the right time.
Q. So did you, Jon, get this woman, Robin, an engagement ring?
A. Yes. Jon bought a diamond ring mid-April and dropped to one knee the night of April 19, the day Robin defended her thesis.
Q. But when you said you were going on vacation and I asked you where, you said you didn't know!
A. We didn't know exactly where we were going. We knew we were going to Las Vegas and staying in the MGM Grand Hotel, but we didn't know which room. You should have been more specific.
Q. But when I pressed you for details, you looked uncomfortable and said "We're going on a road trip."
A. We didn't say which road. The road was the journey of life. Again, you should have been more specific.
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Q. What sort of chapel does weddings in hot air balloons? A. The Little White Wedding Chapel. They also do Elvis-themed weddings. Q. But yours wasn't Elvis-themed, was it? A. No, although when we went to the chapel to get our gown and tux, an Elvis impersonator winked at us. And the person who fitted Jon for his tux had a sneer. |
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Q. Why a sneer? A. They hate their jobs. They do 20 fittings a day for people who want everything to be Just Perfect, and it takes its toll. And our timing was especially bad. We got our license on April 30, and the INS had a May 1 deadline for immigrants to marry Americans if they wanted to stay in the country, so hordes of couples were getting married just when we were. Here, you can see us at the courthouse holding our newly-minted marriage license, and to our left you can see some of the microphones belonging to news stations. To our right, out of the frame, are many news vans with satellite uplinks. |
Q. Isn't the Little White Wedding Chapel the place that does drive-thru weddings?
A. Yes. We even inadvertently walked in front of one. It must be a popular choice -- there were several cars waiting in line. Curiously, they were all SUVs.
Q. Did anyone famous get married there?
A. Frank Sinatra, Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Joan Collins, The Who, Blue Oyster Cult, Demi Moore & Bruce Willis, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
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Q. Is getting married in Las Vegas really as easy as they say? A. Yes. We were never even asked for ID. Here you can see how short the line was for marriage licenses at the courthouse. Vegas (well, Clark County) issues 85,000 marriage licenses per year, but early Monday morning the wait wasn't bad at all -- about fifteen minutes, even on the day of the INS deadline. On the right, you can see a groom, tastefully attired in a tank top, vouching that he is over 18 and is not the cousin of the bride (in pink) to his left. Note that brides and grooms don't have to go through the courthouse metal detectors. I assume this is because of the demand for shotgun weddings. (The gentleman carrying the backpack had probably just been released from custody and got a bit agitated when the flash went off.) |
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Q. So how was the balloon? A. Beautiful. Here's what the view looked like. We launched from the base of a mountain, which is to our right (and visible in background of the next photo). We took this photo to show where we launched from, on the far side of the grass. We didn't know until the last minute what day we'd be able to marry, since the launch depends on the weather. If it's too windy, you can't launch. And the hotter the weather, the less weight the balloon can carry. It was hotter than the balloon guys expected, so we had to leave the photographer on the ground, which was just as well because a) there wasn't much room in the basket, and b) he took wonderful pictures of the launch from the ground. The images you see on this page all come from our digital camera; the photog's pictures aren't yet online. |
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Q. And the ceremony? A. Very nice and traditional, although the minister was interrupted
every minute or so when the pilot released a 70 decibel fiery blast of
hot air into the balloon. Here, we've just been pronounced husband
and wife, and the pilot took a brief interlude from piloting to snap
this photo.
We're looking directly into the sun, which is why Robin is squinting and Jon's boutonniere is wilting. |
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Q. Since there wasn't a wedding party, you must not have had a wedding reception. So what did you do after the balloon landed? A. The balloon touched down in the desert, which made it difficult for Robin to walk. Jon obviously was no help. The fellow on the right is José, our photographer. On the left you can see the shadow of our balloon taking off again. |
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Our limo then took us back to the MGM Grand, where we posed holding our signed marriage certificate. |
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A. Then we went to the Strip for a sundae at Ghirardelli's and then
a gondola ride at the Venetian.
Robin can't believe she's not actually in Venice. |
Q. And then what?
A. We had an excellent dinner at Delmonico's Steakhouse, one of the Emeril Lagasse restaurants.
Q. Have you made any money gambling?
A. We haven't had a chance to gamble much. But when we did, we won. We made a little on blackjack, "Flip-It" quarter-pushers, and roulette (following a Martingale strategy).
Q. Did you see any shows?
A. We saw Siegfried and Roy at the Mirage and will have seen both Cirque du Soleil's "Mystére" at Treasure Island and "EFX" at the MGM Grand by the time we leave.
Q. What's EFX?
A. We don't know yet -- we see it tonight -- but our guidebook says that it has "special effects that must be believed to be seen." When we called to reserve our room at the MGM Grand, they offered us VIP tickets; we panicked and accepted. Only later did we learn that the star of EFX is Rick Springfield. When the Little White Wedding Chapel wanted to reschedule our balloon launch to today, we refused; there was no way our wedding night could involve Rick Springfield.
Q. So am I supposed to get you a present? My Miss Manners Guide to Wedding Etiquette doesn't say what to do when couples elope.
A. Did we throw a big party for you? Did we mail you invitations containing inexplicable sheets of tissue paper? Did we hire a DJ to make you do the funky chicken dance? We did not. No presents.
Jon (jon@orwant.com) and Robin (robin@orwant.com)